if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
