third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
