We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize