i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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