don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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