Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
