so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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