Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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