chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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