spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
