I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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