I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
