Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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