Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
