There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
