Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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