i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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