Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
