I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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