I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
