How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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