Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Randomize
