Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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