try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
