I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
