okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
