He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
