I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
