You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Its about making memories worth repressing
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
