you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
