I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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