This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am never drinking with the goths again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
