Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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