guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
