every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
