if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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