pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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