Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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