How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
