Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
