imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
