He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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