I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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