I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
