i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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