$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
