She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
