I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Where is the hickey?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
