when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
