You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
