perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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