So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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