Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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