i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm really busy with my period
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