Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Four minutes until I can fart!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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