The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize