Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
