Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize