And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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