Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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