it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
